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  • Writer's pictureMark

It’s getting real

Updated: Sep 13, 2021 July I’m am traveling to Tanzania to hike Kilimanjaro. Now that we got that out of the way. I have been planning it for a little over a year. My initial intention was for multiple reasons. 1. Challenge 2. Adventure 3. Bucket list 4. Create a bond with someone special. At first I thought I wouldn’t be able to check all 4 off my list. The one that i was going to miss was #4, create a bond with someone special. I got to thinking that isn’t the case. That special someone was ME. Over the last year I have to be honest I have lost a lot of me. I would even dare to say over the last 20 years I have lost a lot of me. The things that make me who and what I am. The things that drive me. I seem to have lost the individualization. The things that feed my sole. I feel like a lot of the time I have been trying to fit into what the norm was supposed to be. Don’t get me wrong I have people around me that I love and that love me and I am truly thankful for that but along the way I feel lost ME. Some would argue that I have been able to do the things I wanted to do. Allowed to be me. Is it worth it if you feel guilty for doing it? Anyways....this isn’t meant to be a therapy session but there is more behind why I want to bond with ME. Back to Kilimanjaro and this journey in life. A few months ago I was contemplating not going. Was it the right thing to do? Did I really want to do it? What would be the consequences of doing it, personally and professionally? Would the person I want to go with me go? I finally decided to stop worrying about all of that. JUST GO! What’s the worst that can happen? Exactly what is supposed to happen. That’s what can happen. Stop trying to think through every aspect and control the outcome. You will never control the outcome. Sometimes you just have to step out there see what happens. If you don’t take the first step forward you can’t move forward. Sometimes you just have to take the first step and LET GO!

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